A silent agreement between two people often shows that both parties have thoughts and feelings that have not been completely shared, for fear of ending the relationship or having to acknowledge some deep emotions intact. As a result of your silence, your behavior and the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that accompany it are often misread. You internalized this way of doing things, because your open expression of feelings was risky or you received a reaction that made you feel anxious, ashamed, guilty, or uncertain. This is how you learned to create silent chords. Imagine you are a young girl named Sarah. You`re four years old, and your family neighbor, Diane, is knocking on the door and hoping to melt with your mother, busy doing homework. Your mother looks out the door, sees Diane and whispers in her breath, “Damn it. Why today? I have too much work to do. Yet she is at the door, smiling and welcoming Diane into the house. When Diane says hello, you say, “You should go home.
Mom said she didn`t have time to yak. There is no doubt that, around the family and the home, all the greatest virtues, the most dominant virtues of human society will be created, strengthened and maintained Until Jackie Robinson was hired by the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1946, a gentlemen`s agreement ensured that African-American players were excluded from organized baseball.  Because Sarah does not have the tools to recognize and address her own silent chord and silent chords with others, this unproductive cycle continues into adulthood. She ends up in a relationship with Dean, another good man from whom she is very different. There is not much that brings them together, but he is the first man to confirm their opinions and their right to make decisions based on their needs, so she marries him. For a while, his acceptance makes it easier for him to endure his intolerances. In many ways, contracts are like icebergs, since the formal and agreed contract is the part of the iceberg seen above water. The invisible psychological treatise, unspoken, is the part under water and the part that causes us the most future conflicts. Every relationship contains psychological contracts in which, in our minds, we make agreements with our partner or we hope that he should behave in a certain way under certain conditions.
We are then waiting for them to mentally sign this agreement and we intend to stick to it fully. . . .